The Piranha Brothers

I saw this article in the Toronto Sun about a British gangster, Charlie Richardson, who'd just died at the age of 78.

It says that in the 1960's, Richardson, a scrap metal dealer, was also the Torture Gang boss. The story cites ways he punished those who crossed him; one technique Charlie used to enforce his will was to nail people to the floor. His rivals were twin gangster brothers Ronnie and Reggie Kray.

After reading the story I figured that Charlie, Ronnie, and Reggie were collectively the inspiration for The Python's sketch about brutal gangster twins, the Piranha Brothers.

I'm guessing they mixed up the characters to avoid legal action AND personal injury . They were probably too scared to even mention "taking a shirt from Charlie".

I love the irony in Charlie/Dinsdale's profession of innocence at the end of the article. 

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Here's an excerpt from the actual script of Monty Python's episode 14, The Piranha Brothers (with added photos):

Episode Fourteen

Colour code: John Cleese - Michael Palin - Eric Idle - Graham Chapman - Terry Jones - Terry Gilliam - Carol Cleveland

Cut to Presenter at desk in usual grey suit and floral tie.

Presenter Good evening. On 'Ethel the Frog' tonight we look at violence. The violence of British Gangland. Last Tuesday a reign of terror was ended when the notorious Piranha brothers, Doug and Dinsdale (photo of same),after one of the most extraordinary trials in British legal history, were sentenced to four hundred years imprisonment for crimes of violence. Tonight Ethel the Frog examines the rise to power of the Piranhas, the methods they used to subjugate rival gangs and their subsequent tracking down and capture by the brilliant Superintendent Harry 'Snapper' Organs of Q Division. Doug and Dinsdale Piranha were born, on probation, in this small house in Kipling Road, Southwark, the eldest sons in a family of sixteen. Their father Arthur Piranha, a scrap-metal dealer and TV quizmaster, was well known to the police, and a devout Catholic. In January 1928 he had married Kitty Malone, (old wedding photo) an up-and-coming Eastend boxer. Doug was born in February 1929 and Dinsdale two weeks later; and again a week after that. Their next door neighbour was Mrs April Simmel. Exterior in street; interviewer and Mrs Simmel. Line of gas men behind. Mrs Simmel Kipling Road was a typical sort of Eastend street, people were in and out of each other's houses with each other's property all day. They were a cheery lot. Interviewer           Was it a terribly violent area? Mrs Simmel (laughs deprecatingly) Oh ho......yes. Cheerful and violent. I remember Doug was very keen on boxing, until he learned to walk, then he took up putting the boot in the groin. Oh he was very interested in that. His mother had such trouble getting him to come in for his tea. He'd be out there putting his little boot in, you know, bless him. You know kids were very different then. They didn't have their heads filled with all this Cartesian dualism. Cut to school playground. Voice Over At the age of fifteen Doug and Dinsdale started attending the Ernest Pythagoras Primary School in Clerkenwell. Pan to show Anthony Viney and interviewer with stick mike. Interviewer           Anthony Viney. You taught the Piranha brothers English. What do you remember most about them? He fails to point stick mike at Viney (graham) who answers. However, when the interviewer poses the next question he points the stick mike to Viney as he does so. This continues, with the mike always pointing to the one who is not talking while Viney relates a fascinating tale complete with large riveting gestures. Interviewer           ...Anthoney Viney. Cut to presenter. Presenter When the Piranhas left school they were called up but were found by an Army Board to be too unstable even for National Service. Denied the opportunity to use their talents in the service of their country, they began to operate what they called 'The Operation'. They would select a victim and then threaten to beat him up if he paid the so-called protection money. Four months later they started another operation which the called 'The Other Operation'. In this racket they selected another victim and threatened not to beat him up if hedidn't pay them. One month later they hit upon 'The Other Other Operation'. In this the victim was threatened that if he didn't pay them, they would beat him up. This for the Piranha brothers was the turning point. Cut to Superintendent OrgansSUBTITLE: 'HARRY "SNAPPER" ORGANS' Organs Doug and Dinsdale Piranha now formed a gang, which the called 'The Gang' and used terror to take over night clubs, billiard halls, gaming casinos and race tracks. When they tried to take over the MCC they were for the only time in their lives, slit up a treat. As their empire spread however, we in Q Division were keeping tabs on their every move by reading the colour supplements. Presenter A small-time operator who fell foul of Dinsdale Piranha was Vince Snetterton-Lewis. Cut to Vince in a chair in a nasty flat. Vince Well one day I was sitting at home threatening the kids, and I looked out of the hole in the wall and sees this tank drive up and one of Dinsdale's boys gets out and he comes up, all nice and friendly like, and says Dinsdale wants to have a talk with me. So he chains me to the back of the tank and takes me for a scrape round to Dinsdale's. And Dinsdale's there in the conversation pit with Doug and Charles Paisley, the baby crusher, and a couple of film producers and a man they called 'Kierkegaard', who just sat there biting the heads of whippets and Dinsdale sayd 'I hear you've been a naughty boy Clement' and he splits me nostrils open and saws me leg off and pulls me liver out, and I said my name's not Clement and then he loses his temper and nails my head to the floor. Interviewer           (off-screen) He nailed your head to the floor? Vince At first, yeah Cut to presenter. Presenter Another man who had his head nailed to the floor was Stig O' Tracey. Cut to another younger more cheerful man on sofa. Interviewer           Stig, I've been told Dinsdale Piranha nailed your head to the floor. Stig No, no. Never, never. He was a smashing bloke. He used to give his mother flowers and that. He was like a brother to me. Interviewer           But the police have film of Dinsdale actually nailing your head to the floor. Stig Oh yeah, well - he did that, yeah. Interviewer           Why? Stig Well he had to, didn't he? I mean, be fair, there was nothing else he could do. I mean, I had transgressed the unwritten law. Interviewer           What had you done? Stig Er... Well he never told me that. But he gave me his word that it was the case, and that's good enough for me with old Dinsy. I mean, he didn't want to nail my head to the floor. I had to insist. He wanted to let me off. There's nothing Dinsdale wouldn't do for you. Interviewer           And you don't bear him any grudge? Stig A grudge! Old Dinsy? He was a real darling. Interviewer           I understand he also nailed your wife's head to a coffee table. Isn't that right Mrs O' Tracey? Camera pans to show woman with coffee table nailed to head. Mrs O' Tracey Oh, no. No. No. Stig Yeah, well, he did do that. Yeah, yeah. He was a cruel man, but fair Cut back to Vince. Interviewer           Vince, after he nailed your head to the floor, did you ever see him again Vince Yeah.....after that I used to go round his flat every Sunday lunchtime to apologize and we'd shake hands and then he'd nail my head to the floor Interviewer           Every Sunday? Vince Yeah but he was very reasonable about it. I mean one Sunday when my parents were coming round for tea, I asked him if he'd mind very much not nailing my head to the floor that week and he agreed and just screwed my pelvis to a cake stand.

The episode ends with Luigi Vercotti and his high class escort agency (the Chinese watch ). He describes Doug as more fearsome than Dinsdale.

"What did Doug do?"

" He used ... sarcasm."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=evj24bXakqg&feature=relmfu)


Dinsdale's imaginary nemesis Spiny Norman, a giant hedgehog.





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Link to the full TV episode above is here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zaoyhlUPWA&feature=related


Scripts of all Python episodes: 
http://www.ibras.dk/montypython/justthewords.htm


UPDATE Jan2018: More of lovable Spiny

Pat Condell tells it like it is about Islam

http://youtu.be/GCXHPKhRCVg

Islamic Tolerance In Action

ISLAMABAD (AP) — A Christian girl was sent to a Pakistani prison after being accused by her furious Muslim neighbors of burning pages of the Islamic holy book, the Quran, in violation of the country's strict blasphemy laws.

Published: August 20, 2012

...

"Police put the girl in jail for 14 days on Thursday after neighbors said they believed a Christian girl had burned pages of a Quran, gathering outside her house in a poor outlying district of Islamabad, said police officer Zabi Ullah. He suggested she was being held for her protection."

...

"it (blasphemy laws) has been exploited by individuals to settle personal scores, to grab land, to violate the rights of non-Muslims, to basically harass them," said the head of the Human Rights Commission of Pakistan, Zora Yusuf."

...

"… one police officer familiar with the girl's case said the matter would likely be dropped once the investigation is completed and the atmosphere is defused, saying there was "nothing much to the case." He did not want to be identified due to the sensitivity of the case."

………………………………..

These Muslims are such ignorant, savage people that they have no more clue about what they've been taught to hate than a chimpanzee might:

"One police official, Qasim Niazi, said when the girl was brought to the police station, she had a shopping bag that contained various religious and Arabic-language papers that had been partly burned, but there was no Quran.

"Some residents claimed they actually saw burnt pages of Quran — either at the local mosque or at the girl's house. Few people in Pakistan actually speak or read Arabic, so often assume that anything they see with Arabic script is believed to be from the Quran, sometimes the only Arabic-language book people have seen."

http://www.mail.com/int/news/world/1510186-pakistan-girl-jailed-accused-blasphemy.html#.2394-stage-set1-12


UPDATE Sept 5/12

I've read a couple of stories recently that claimed a local religious zealot may have planted pages from the Koran on this poor girl as a way to frame a Christian and get the rest of the Christians out of his area. Could Islam BE any more hateful???

I don't give a damn how tolerant of Canada's culture our  "Canadian" Muslims pretend to be (and it IS pretending). I will not accept their phony claims of patriotism until they admit the failure of their religion to become humane in their home countries. Not only admit it but vocally condemn it, and actively work to undermine it. Otherwise they aren't real Canadians; they're just "former practising women and minority abusers" happily preserving their distasteful roots in our country. We don't have to look far to find western muslims who murder their children in the name of their religion.

Until Muslims in the West begin to loudly denounce the barbaric practises and inhumane treatment of their former fellow citizens with the same zeal that they criticize their host countries' cultures, they are undeserving of respect.

Liberalism: A Leading Cause of Death

Three great pieces on the Eaton Centre shooting in Toronto. Liberalism has created for us a society that turns a blind eye to crime mitigation, the reasons for it and sources of it.


The sub-human gangster that did it was merely eliminating another gang rival. Another failed seed of the liberal society we live in. The police don't get it when they call him "some idiot" No, he's NOT just "some idiot". He's gangster, just released on us after of 5 years in jail, for god's sake! What a great prison/justice system we have here. Liberalism is a leading cause of death in Canada.


All liberals care about is unlimited jobs and money to "study" crime forever without actually reducing it. And of course the conservative minded, wealth creating portion of the population pays for everything.

http://hallsofmacadamia.blogspot.ca/2012/06/shooting-shocka.html

http://hallsofmacadamia.blogspot.ca/2012/06/less-tweet-more-street.html

http://hallsofmacadamia.blogspot.ca/2012/06/homicide-squad-frantically.html

A Word to the Wise